So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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