i'm signing you up for texting rehab
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize