Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
