We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
