Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
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then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
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2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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