everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
