My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
