good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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