i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
