One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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