Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
