Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
