No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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