Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Hippo gnu deer
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
