I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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