it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
