Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize