Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
