he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
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