Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
