only if we run a train.
done.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
How external is "for external use only"?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
