I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize