OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
