I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
