why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
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Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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