woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
