well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
