We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
