Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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