I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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