"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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