"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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