Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
