How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
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Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
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Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.