Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.