Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.