Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
