OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
