Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
as a side note pls kill me
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
