names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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