Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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