i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
