jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
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Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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