I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
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so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
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Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize