I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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