yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
