I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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