dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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