I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
