Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
