Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
