i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
