Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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