where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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