i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
