Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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