Porn is love you can see.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
