I just found a bag of teeth...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I have fence marks all over my body
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I'm really busy with my period
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