I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
