it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
