They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
