I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
