I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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