Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
