I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
